Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine

Beaurocrat Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer

Adam and Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer

Government Virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a
message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem

Government Virus #2
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything

Airline Virus
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore

Freudian Virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard. Or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.

Daughter Virus
Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Jimmy Hoffa Virus
Your programs can never be found again

LAPD Virus
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense".

O.J. Simpson Virus
It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it.

good one, esp the freudian virus