Hi. Long time reader, first time poster.

I found this in a fitness forum.

A guy, 22, wants to have sex with a girl who's 16. I'm the dad of a 1 year old daughter. I am worried about her enough as it is, but I cant think of how much I'd worry about this if this was my daughter. I'm angry about this guy doing this, am I right to be angry? What would you do if your daughter was in this situation?

(to make things equal, you can read the 22 year old guys side on his blog, http://www.becomingapua.com/2007/09/06/hav...-a-16-year-old/ )

???
Hmmm. No offense, but that's a pretty random first post!
Anyways... what does the 16 year old think? I'd be inclined to say that wouldn't be OK, in fact, I don't even know if that would be legal, since there's a 6 year age difference, and she's under 18.

However, just because there's one crazy guy out there doesn't mean you need to worry yourself too much over your daughter. There's plenty of other dangers for her, like choking on a carrot.

it's legal, move on

if it was a 40 year old man and 16 year old, then it'd be REALLY weird

it's not legal from everything that i've heard about. but you are in the UK..

anyways,dewayne,you cant freak out about things like this. the world is insanely f***ed up these days and it will only get worse. and this is all because the stupid people out there dont cant think on there own. so all that i can say is don't be a control freak. it will only put stress on you and your daughter. you have every right to be concerned about her and definatly check out her boyfriends when that time comes. i can't beleive how oblivious the majority of parents are these days. they either dont care or are too stupid to realize what is going on with their kids and this will only get worse..

It all depends on what the local laws say. Some local laws say it's illegal to have sexual relations with anyone under 18 while some say that 16 is the concenting age.

Whether the laws say it's ok or not, it's still nasty IMO.


I totally agree.

When did that happen, has it not been like that forever?

Any way, it’s legal; the law in most countries doesn’t say you can’t have intercourse with an underage person when you are not underage. In most cases he or she needs to ask permission to his or her parents to do so. Dewayne2, you would kick that guys *ss all over the place for sure, but that part would be not legal .

I wonder what I would do when my daughter becomes active and she will have a guy that could be her dad… I think I will take a walk with him in the park and return alone, WHOHAHAHA!

Dewayne2 ! Im with you.

I knew a 15 year old that was nailing a 22 year old. The girl's mom found out and called the police who refused to charge him since she was "close enough" to the legal age.

well it's still not the legal age which is prolly 16 for that area.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape#Age_of_consent

I'd say his conclusion is a bit too quick :

I don't know the girl's mentality but I'm not sure on this point.

And btw, sexual majority (what you may call "age of consent" and minimum age to get married) in France is 16 for girls, 18 for boys.
So the law is not always a reference.

(anyway, running out of batteries)

Ha-ha-ha. Everyone's got double standards. And this one is the other way around from most.

How old is she mentally? How about him? What would be different if she were being bopped by a 15 year old? Differences in age? Tell that to Anna Nicole Smith (well, you could have).

I have turned down (long time ago) offers from girls who were underage. I am 'old' now and occasionally some 'girl' will flirt with me. I don't go there but what the heck?

When I was in my very early teens, I clearly remember looking at 'older' women and thinking 'whoa, mmm, oh yeah, u-huh'. And if I had been so unfortunate as to have had them abuse me, I don't think I would have been any worse for wear. In fact, I think it would have done me a world of good.

Can't speak for other people and can't speak for what goes through girls minds. I just know they are in 'safe' territory and you can be up the creek.

One word out of her mouth and you are done for. Truth or falsehood. And I have seen a lot of falsehood. You can't disprove it.

DL

It sure didn’t hurt me when I started at 14 years with my first girl of 23 years. If you are "ready" your "ready", and that is indeed mental for men, for women it’s different when looking at the reproduction part...

Ive been thinking about the same sorta thing.
'' 22 year old with a 16 year old .. right or wrong?''

My answer ... completely RIGHT!

why not? its legal.
BUT i have discoverd its not the law. its the parents and the friends that put you off.
example.. i like this 22 year old. hes lovely, sweet hillarious and just cute in so many ways.
and we ended up getting a bit hot and botherd one night. next morning hes fine and sweet.
his mates took the p*** abit but that was just to wind him up. and we all had a laugh about it.
but i started to feel like an id*** because i thought well i am younger then him and my dad would flip big time.
anyway my whole point is that go with it if its what you both want but, sometimes its not the age that matters its the lifestyles that you lead. and the small things can get in the way, simple things like going to the pub or stopping at his house, things like that. Basically if you think of the bigger picture and you can invision your dad or mum killing him .. its a no.

for how long? you know the last reply in this thread is 9+ months old right? coincidence?

Here where I come from it is illegal...

Personally I think it depends on the maturity of the younger person. But if your the older person it's not really something to be proud of....

Legality aside, a 22 year old guy having sex with a 16 year old or contemplating it needs some counseling, IMHO. The physical age difference of 6 years is vastly different than the mental age difference of those 6 years between the age of 16 and 22. It's telling to me that he's thinking about this 16 year old girl instead of dealing with someone his own age.

I hope I never find myself in this situation with a 16 year old daughter because the outcome might not be pretty for the older guy interested in her.

After reading that guy's blog post I dislike him greatly. He sounds like the type of person who has an overly inflated ego or compensating for some sort of complex and, honestly, I wouldn't be shocked to find out that nearly everything he wrote was either completely made up or he exaggerated to make himself look like he's a total player with game. Regardless of whether it's true, exaggerated, or an outright lie, the guy is a moron, IMHO.

Theyre close enough in age. 22 year old guys arent actually that much more mature than 16 or 17 year old girls. Its not like he's taking advantage. She is probably just using him as a trophy to show how mature she is to pick up a BF aged 22. Dammit theyre probably closer in mental age than a 16 year old boy and a 16 yr old girl - boys dont mature anywhere near as quick as girls. Who is bothered if he's bangin her - its legal aged 16 and infact in some countries it would be legal if she were 14. So moralising and wrrying about it is hardly useful. He's hardly a pervert is he?
It would be different if he were 32, that would be a bit worrying but what if the guy was 80. Some girls go in for that. Especially if the guys rich. Imagine if your 16 year old daughter were getting it on for a 80 year old.

Better off worying whether the Large Hadron Collider will end the Earth on 21st October 2008, when they fire it up at full power and make the first real collision that creates a black hole !


heh heh heh - a carrot - hehehehe yeah ! or a banana !

The only way my 16 year old daughter would have sex with a 22 year old boy would be if she practiced necrophilia. I take my parenting very seriously

I don't think this kind of thread fits even in offtopic section of such forums as these.

I got a perfect alternative for this kind of talking though! - http://iwforums.com/

I'm disappointed, saddened, and disturbed to see that the majority of people who voted don't see a problem with this situation. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The world is sliding further and further downhill with each passing day with people growing more and more complacent.

No boy 6 years older than my daughter will ever lay his hands on her until she's an adult and in the position to make her own decisions based on adult wisdom. Sixteen years old is not adulthood and a 22 year old contemplating sex with a 16 year old is sick.

Oh well.

Very well said!

In my opinion, the problem is the guy - why a 16-year-old? I'm much older than he is and when I was his age, such a thought would make my stomach run.

I voted "no",... why? Because I believe that if you give your daughter the proper upbringing, she would run FAST from a guy with such intentions.

You don't need to be worried because the part you play in her life will safeguard her from such a situation.

There are thousands of other things in this world that I'm sure you're also worried about but as parent, your teachings will keep her safe.

May our children (born and unborn) hear of dangers but never see them.

to the guy that replyed to me sayin '' for how long''

what are you going on about??

and... i still dont think theres anything wrong with a 16 yr old and a 22 year old dating,,
specially when you have known him long and you know what hes like ,,
hes deffo not in it for one thing.. in my situation amyways ,, hes said hed prefer it if i was 18 fair do's considering the circumstances,, whats stoping us is my parents.
but yh i'll admit i have found probably the perfect person for me ,, and everyone says its coz ur this age and i'll get in over my head , but its not age just becoz im 16 doesnt mean i dotn have propa feelings. lol

I can tell by your post (Grammar, Spelling and mannerisms) you really aren't ready to date AT ALL.

You are still a young girl (Yes you are very close to being a woman but not there) and by dating him you are tempting him or allowing him to molest a child (you).

I know 6 years is not all that different really but it is a huge and I mean HUGE gap when you are so young.

This guy has to have something wrong with him to be dating such a young person. Unless there is no sexual activity and you 2 are seriously dating and waiting until you are more mature and somewhat older, then there just may be something there.

You live in a very civilized country and I am sure that most people there in your country would see things the same way...

Imagine things from his side when he talks to his friends or acquaintances about you (If he actually does)

1= He cannot take you to the pub with him.
2= How do you associate with his friends?
3= Can you take him to school functions?
4= Does he only like younger less mature activities?

Seriously if I knew him I would go home and tell my daughter (She's 15) to stay way away from him, he is a predator and you are his toy...

To Kelsenellenelvian.

first off i understand completley what you are saying,
But as for the grammar, Spelling and mannerisms part , i feel quite offended, the way i talk has got nothing to do with my age, just the area i live in, we all talk like this.

i'll try and explain the situation as best i can..
we really like eachother and its the person that counts not the age in my eyes,, and as much as he wants to be with me , he wont go touch me because of my age, we are in a bit of a confused state atm , coz on one hand we both say ,, soo what its only 6 years and we both like eachother and then on the other its omg your 16 what am i playing at,
but its guttering because its liek we have both found someone that makes us very very very happy, and its a shame that we cant betogether,

and i dont really apreciate you calling me a toy and him apredator because thats not what it is.

but you have helped me in a way now and i do realise that we both need to back off.
thanks.

..... 8x10 barred room for 20 years?????? Think about it

no mate its no illegal where im from .. and its not really that frowned upon.

I'm not chocked in africa they f*** when they are 7 with men who are 50 when they are not already dead. In developed countries of course it shocking, mostly because there are only old people who can do this, they even take viagra, the young are meant to be poor, unemployed or homeless. if the nasty boy wants to f*** the young girl there is no problem. its better than to see the young slut suck a horse. after all if she catch aids its her problem.

Its wrong to me.....

i have a friend thats a chick and she's 18 and dates a 48 year old dude...

year thats pretty nasty but socially acceptable around here (far out in the woods of hicktown haha)

agree on the weird 1st post....but welcome to msfn

yes it's weird and wrong and disgusting since it's just a baby to say the least. I dont have kids but if I had a daughter I would be concerned, but wait till the time to talk about it, not at 1 year old.

rememember that nowadays those 16 year old girls dont look 16 anymore, they look 21 or at least legal. the way they dress, makeup (and sometimes talk) it's enough to cause an older man to get excited about them, and if the girl is "outgoing" then it will probably just happen and they'll each go their merry way.

and like others have said....there's worse thing in the world that can kill anyone.

i hate the matter's of sexual orientation

Like banning her from watching TV?.. All kinds of people are running the media and their twisted personas are manifesting all around us; & lots of computer/and tv equipment and hardware is needed to filter all the garbage....

Let's think about this for a moment fellas and girls.

If this question was phrased '22 year old girl having sex with 16 year old guy', I can tell you for a fact the responses here would be quite different. But it doesn't change a thing. Society still sees the man as the aggressor, and the woman as the 'hard done by'.

If the sex is consentual, I see NO wrongdoing here. People need to pull their heads out of their anuses and just accept the fact that there is nothing wrong here.

JustinStacey, I fully agree. And in the Netherlands it's also perfectly legal from 16 years and older.

For the rest, some other facts to consider...

1) In puberty, girls mature faster than boys.
2) Due to 1), they tend prefer older boys.
3) In nature all animals try/want to copulate the moment they can reproduce.
4) This has nothing to do with “civilized countries”, but everything with nature.
5) Many of the so called “civilized” rules date from 100's years’ back, when the church was still firm in place.
6) Even earlier in time, e.g. the medieval ages and way before that, it was common to marriage 12/13 year old girls.

And the list goes on and on...

Disclaimer: This is by no means meant to smooth talk or encourage such behavior; it's just a (very brief) explanation why these things happen…

you know, i actually read this a little, and thought it was pretty low. i'm 18 now, just turned 18 in march, and my girlfriend is turning 17 at the end of next week, but for the time being, she's 16. to be honest, i think it's completely wrong to have that kind of gap so early, 22 going on 16.

sure, it's only a 6 year difference, but that kind of age gap is less regarded later in life. earlier in life it's frowned upon because there's a difference between being attracted to the person, and being attracted to everything about the person.

i feel like this whole thread is about right or wrong, when it's overlooking a simple fact...is it right or wrong that he's going after a 16 year old, or is it right or wrong that there's a 6 year age difference.

and in reality, it's neither, i think that many people are appalled by the timing of the difference, being 16 to 22. shift the ages down, and it's more and more reasonable the farther you go. but right now, even i disagree with it, 22 going on 16 is wrong, on so many levels..that's like junior in college going on high school sophomore. if the girl initiates something like that, thats just wrong on so many levels...if the guy initiates it, that's like "player" status, but still it says the wrong things about him to other people.

imo, the age difference isant a problem (6 years) its the actual age thats a problem. Yet lots of people do it. I hear girls at work (I work at a college) who are 16-18 who talk about their boyfriends who are in their mid 20's. Girls do that because they want maturity in a guy etc.

As I said, I persoanlly don't like it, but it happens.
There are lots of things that are "OK" in this world that I don't like, but unfortuantely can't do anything about it.

.....mmmmm hella-odd thread resurrection

What if he was 18 and she was 12 (or 16 and 10), real question is at what point is it not a little (or a lot) bit gross anymore?

That comparisation doesn't make sense, because 12 (and younger) is illegal in most - if not all - Western countries.

1. In puberty, girls mature faster than boys.
   Whatever
2. Due to 1), they tend prefer older boys.
   Says who
3. In nature all animals try/want to copulate the moment they can reproduce.
   Um, you talkin' about animals now
4. This has nothing to do with “civilized countries”, but everything with nature.
   Some of us are civilized
5. Many of the so called “civilized” rules date from 100's years’ back, when the church was still firm in place.
   What church (meaning not all of us are Catholic, or whatever it is you may be implying)
6. Even earlier in time, e.g. the medieval ages and way before that, it was common to marriage 12/13 year old girls.
   What was the life expectancy then and now...

So what was your argument exactly?

That's ridiculous !
He is an animal !

i have a question for that guy.
few years later...
if Another 22 years guy will have sex with u 16 years daughter .
Just like u did...
"how do you feel about that ? "