Yeah well I been going through some tough times with school and life. School started for my last time (cause I am a senior in high school) and I been missing each day so far Because I don't feel like going to school and I don't have any transpiration. And all I have to take is one single class to grad. But I also went to a tech center for 2 years and now I feel like I haven't been at my high school for years like no one knows me, I feel like I am a new student there and I lost many friends and I also feel that I gotten dumber. I mean my people skills are horrible, I suck at math and English.

Its just I like am giving up, I mean I even like almost forgot how to drive or even take care of my self. Its like I am falling apart. I basically sit on my but all day and do nothing. I'm starting to feel like a loser. I don't know what to do anymore.. I'm about ready to give up on life. If anyone wants to try to give me some advice that would be greatly appreciated.. I don't know what else to do.

At the risk of bing a fool, let an old man in his 60's give you some thoughts, since a few months ago I was you. I have advanced RA, and enphysima with hands that were good tech hands for years, that now have two fingers and a thumb working on the right hand and one on the left from the RA, and to think I could at one time type 90 plus WPM without an error. I still repair and rebuild computers, although a bit slower than I used to. So being depressed and pretty well p'od at myself, I wrote this as an answer to someones question. You're not stupid or a loser as you see the problem, now use that mind to solve it. Remember your feelings are the sum of your thinking, not the other way around. Oh, and how to I deal with it I go to Myspace and rant at the fools I find there, and do some writing. Here is a link to that poem below that I wrote.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseacti...8C1F38D48770132

Silent Screams



Out of the mist a voice has cried

I've broken from this place I hide



I probe my Mind to reach the dream

To break the chains of silent screams



As deep within this life that's old

A fiery light still sears my soul



I reach the mist to pierce the dream

Drawn only by those silent screams



I look within longing too see

But will it leave my heart to bleed



Can it be tamed this raging fire

This spoken voice of life's desire



The touch so light the Mind so strong

This dance of poets this spoken song



Perhaps reality in time will show

This Mind that whispers to my soul



So I'll probe to search this dream

These broken chains these silent screams



And if by chance the mist does clear

The voice will speak that has no fear

Galt

Copyright January 2008 - John Broken Eagle Galt
This cannot be used without permission

I'll probably come off sounding like the old man I am, but I would state that you should not let circumstances define you, you should strive to define your circumstances. I am not sure I completely understand your lot in life, as I am not privy to the intricate details above and beyond what you've stated, but I get the feeling that the change (complete) in your life has left you feeling detached, with no desire to go back to something that should be familiar and easy, but is (for many reasons) not.

As a broken record once emminated, your education (especially high school) is about the only thing in life that I would state you should not give up on, no matter what. I don't know if there is an underlying reason for this (that a professional can help you with), but you likely have a guidance counselor that you could discuss these things with. Failing that, there will (hopefully) be someone at the school in a position of leadership who can help you address your issues and work around them. I would hate to see you hampered in life because you were unable to find a way to finish one class (whether that be high school or college, but failing to finish high school will have far-reaching consequences, whereas failing to finish college likely would not in most cases).

You seem like an intelligent person to me, able to understand there's an issue you need to address - I would suggest you address the lack of motivation issue first. That really seems like it underscores the other issues you describe, and if you can find someone to confide in on a personal level and work through this, I am hoping you will find the will to stick it out and finish up. Good luck kid, our thoughts are with you.

Thanks everyone.. It had gave me some thoughts that I just need to start growing up a little.. You know? I'm almost 18 and the problem is that the fact I don't have any transportation to school, I even discussed this with the school and they don't even know what to do. We looked at every possible way. I also need to get a job and I can't get a job with out transportation. But hopefully something will work out soon or later. I just Gotta stop sitting on my butt all day. I think its cause I gotta lose weight and stuff and I also keep thinking that I have health problems but my doctor says I am perfect healthy. Also I have bad Tics.. I move way to much and I can't stay still for long period of times. This affects me because I need to go to the Dentist someday to get my teeth cleaned and a few teeth filled, but I am afraid to go and with my TICS, I can't stay still.

1. Transportation - can anyone at the school swing by to grab you on the way? If not, is there any public transport in your area? Assuming it's not a private school, you should be able to get the public school to either provide you transport, or get them to help you find it. Assuming you're in the US, they do have some obligations to get you to school if they can't bus you in. I don't know the limitations, but they do exist IIRC.

2. Job can wait unless you're living alone, focus on school if you can.

3. If you do find it impossible to sit still (as you say you do), get a second (or third) opinion. That is not normal, and if you don't like one doctor, see another. Unless 3 or 4 tell you the exact same thing, don't just trust one opinion.

Yeah well my school is dumb they don't give a crap about me Anyways I been to doctors about my tics and they said I will grow out of it. The thing is that I only do it when I am bored. Like if I am driving, playing guitar, or doing something that I am interested in, I don't do it at all. Actually its been getting less and less.. Soo hopefully It will go away if not. I dunno. I would hate to be put on medication. However I do need to lose some weight.. I'm not like obese or anything lol.. I mean I can run like 2 miles and wont get out of breath... which my doctor said I have a really good heart and lungs and amazing stamina. I don't know why I do. Lol. But I am like 5' 10" and I weight like 205 pounds :S But I do got quite of bit of muscles but I would like to get down to like 160 pounds and I wanna be fit and not have a gut Maybe I wont get called ugly anymore

Uhhh...

Play a tune, record it, put it on a myspace Musician's/Artist's account (they are different... check it first before signing up). Get enthusiasm about what you can do for or give to others. Life goes on in spite of itself. Participate in it and tell it to screw itself, you're here to stay. Try to find things positive in yourself as well as others. "LIVE, Spock LIVE!" You are here for a reason, find out what it is. You must be smart, so use that to your advantage. Take a deep breath and go "Ahhhhh, that felt good". Take care of yourself, and life will take care of you.

Need I say more? Been there, friend; it wasn't pretty, but I pulled through, so can you.

- really would like to hear some licks -
FWIW - www.myspace.com/andjustus4all
not many people listen, but it's a treat when they do...

And explore all your options for that ride... you really need that piece of paper. You may have friends that can hook you up that you didn't even know you had...

Peace, Brother!

I've always found high schools to be the absolute worst places to try and build self-esteem. If you can make it out and go to college (or hit the "real world"), you'll find people are far less shallow. Just force it if you have to, but get yourself through that last year and it'll be the best thing you've ever done for yourself.

I experienced some frustration in High School, everyone does in their own way. Anyway in hindsight I realized that not everyone there cares about students futures, some put in only enough to get to that pension. Don't let those type of people get you down and get in the way of your potential! I got lucky and had a couple great teachers that had a passion for what they were doing and those people inspired me, not to follow their careers but their outlook and professionalism. My personal philosophy is "do what you think is right" and "push the envelope". For example I align myself with other people that would like to see the Public Education system modified a little so those aforementioned bad teachers don't stick around long so future students have less crap to deal with! Anyways I always encourage others to always pursue what interests them and what they enjoy. Do what you enjoy; be good at what you do; Everything else will follow!

According to your profile your from Waterbury, Vermont and if that's accurate I did some research on-line for their website and schools. The site has a classified section, where you could place an ad looking for transportation to and from school. How about checking with them on completing ON-LINE your last course of study, with perhaps less physical time actually in class. The school doesn't seem to want to help. then write to the board of education.

You mentioned you're not happy with how your weight is, even though healthy and it only matters if your not happy with it (as long as healthy) but is that school too far to walk too? That could be a solution, get you to school and walk off the weight, and you said you had the stamina. I used to walk 7 miles to and from school when I lived in Jefferson, Ohio unless I could catch some farmer heading my way to give me a lift.

Last, what about a military option, and I don't mean any military other than the United States Coast Guard. You could complete and even improve your education, and for me it was a great four years, in which I completed 4 years of college while in serving my time. You can even take that guitar with you...I took mine.

As for what others think, the devil with them since you don't eat through a collective brain or think through one. I'm old Oglala Sioux, and the other half is German, lived some of my time on a rez, and was hated by both since I was a half-breed. This is one man's hair the white-eyes didn't cut, and I still wear it half way down my back. Ugly, you bet and tell them **** proud of it.
Replace that "we" with 'I' and remember you won't be worth a **** to anyone else unless you are worth a **** to yourself first, and that's called (rational self-interest), not an arrogant I'll do what I want, any way I want attitude.

Hi computerMan.

You just got a lot of advise that I can not put a dollar value on but it is very valuable. All of it.

Take a walk or a jog when your tics start. if not before.

And my personal opinion is that any branch of the military is good.

Read my first sentence again and then go and read what the others have said again. Priceless.


Mark

only thing I can say about your tics is I would look into something called "Oral Sedation Dentistry". Basically, they knock you out and you wont feel a thing till its over (and if they did it right, you wont feel much afterwards) My sister has anxiety attacks just thinking about dentists and shes been able to have minor work done on her teeth without problems. After hearing that, i looked into it and I just had 4 of my wisdom teeth removed Tuesday and I was working at near full capacity last night (woulda been full capacity but the hydrocodone prescribed for pain was keeping me down)

as for the High school problems, I can relate but I dunno if im the best person to get advice for on that because I dropped in the 11th and took the GED because of reasons too numerous to list here.

on the subject of jobs though i will say unless you can get a job doing something you enjoy, its not worth the added stress at this point in your life.

Hey man dont sweat the small stuff.....And ohh yea highschool is the small stuff. WAKE UP UR IT. GO GETEM MAN