Hi my name's Norris and i punch dogs as a small child i was kept in a broom cupboard and told i was the offspring of an unholy union between a marmoset and a werber bar-b-q this pleased me as it explained my freakishly long fingers and my love of all things burnt. later my life has been a little more spread out, ( i like the word "spread" it normaly comes before "on toast" and who doesnt like toast?) i used to be scared of small stones but now i worrie about the fact that moths may breed with spiders and create some sorta super bug these "MOTHDERS" will fly at you in the dark or make giant webs in your cupboards to catch your clothes FEAR HAS A NEW NAME AND THAT NAME IS MOTHDERS Things I Like: I like the noise small kids make when you hit them and they fall down,(old people make much the same noise ?!?! strange that?). I like my sock kevin and he likes me. I like 2/3rds of rice kryspies in a packet, (the rest can go 2 hell). Bar fights. Carving novelty animals from root vegetables. Freaky Circus Sex. Jokes that are in bad taste. Girls with no Standards, Morals or Self Esteem. Midgets, (yay for little people they make me feel big). Really creepy people who follow you about. Things I Dislike: Balloon animals, its not a Giraffe its a bent up balloon! Eating just cos ive run out of beer! Fat people who arnt jolly, (fat people have to be jolly its the LAW!) Girls who think to much, (well of course your not gunna wanna sleep with me if you think about it). Shaving. Small Stones with Sharp Edges. Snotty Eggs. Hangovers!!! Kittens that come apart when you kick them. Materialism and not havin enuff stuff. Double Standards (i can have them but you cant!) To be honest i only came here cos i was told that mondays is chocolate cake and ice cream day.