[nitroshift]

Found this while surfing the internet:

"One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her."

[puntoMX]

That's a cool way to get even,

[Tripredacus]

Recently, I was playing Quake 3 on my normal server and a conversation came up about something about women. I then used the common meme of "there are no girls on the internet". Well wouldn't you know it, there were two girls on the server that day and one happened to have been an admin. To make matters worse, neither of them had ever heard of that term and didn't know it was internet schenanigans. So they took it personally and I almost got banned.

[Maleko]

Brilliant! "forwards joek to the girlfriend..."

[Woomera]

) OMG, hilarious

[lightning slinger]

 

nitroshift, on Jun 17 2009, 06:34 PM, said:

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

Just shows you where having a few extra brain cells gets you, absolutely nowhere!!   

This post has been edited by lightning slinger: 27 October 2009 - 03:48 PM

[msgeek]

Funny story! Guys remember that diamonds are women's best friend