Wanna live in New Jersey?

[XPerties]

Application to Live In New Jersey:

Name: _____________________________

Nickname: _____________________________

Address: _____________________________

Exit # (NJ Turnpike): _______

Exit # (Garden State Parkway): _______

Ethnic Background:

___Italian ___Sicilian ___Jewish ___Italian ___Italian

Profession:

___Mechanic ___Truckdriver ___Meatpacker ___Dockworker ___Hairdresser

___Manacurist ___Avon Sales Lady ___Waitress @ Bennigan's___Exotic Dancer

Backyard Smells Like:

___Sewage ___Sulfur ___Garbage ___All 3

# of Muscle Shirts Owned: These would be known as 'wife beaters'

___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

# of Bon Jovi Tour Shirts Owned:

___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

# of Bon Jovi Shirts That are Also Muscle Shirts:

___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Brand of Jeans Preferred:

___Sergio Valente ___Jordache ___Sassoon ___Z.Cavaricci

Percentage of Wardrobe Which is Skintight:

___100% ___95-100% ___90-95% ___85-90%

# of Gold Chains Owned:

___10-15 ___15-20 ___20-25 ___25 and above

# of Gold Chains Worn at One Time:

___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Approximate Value of ALL jewelry:

___$5-$10 ___$10-$15 ___$15-$20 ___Stolen

Number of Applications of Obsession/Polo/Drakar Before Going Out:

___10-15 ___15-25 ___25 and above

Gold Cap on at Least One Tooth?

___Yes ___No

Hair Height (must be completed by applicants seeking residency in

Edgewater or Bayonne)

___6-8 inches ___8-12 inches ___1-2 feet___More than 2 feet

Hair Products Used:

___Hair Spray ___Styling Gel ___Mousse ___Extra

Hold Styling Gel:

___Bondo ___Spackle ___40 Weight Oil ___Krazy Glue

Automobile Owned:

___IROC Z ___Firebird ___Camaro___Mustang___Thunderbird

Number of Inches Car is Off the Ground:

___6-8 inches ___4-6 inches ___2-4 inches ___Under 2 inches

Car Paraphernalia:

___Gold chain around license plate

___Neon lights around license plate

___Neon lights under car

___Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging on rear view mirror

___Garter hanging from rear view mirror

___Chrome hubcaps

___Stick-on window tinting

___Stick-on paint splash stickers

___Fuzzy dice TATTOO

___Crown deodorizer on dash or in rear window

___Crucifix on dashboard

Favorite Music:

___Techno ___Rap ___Bon Jovi ___Bruce Springsteen

Favorite Actor/Actress:

___Joe Pesci ___Robert DeNiro ___Al Pacino

___Marisa Tomei___Annette Funicello ___Anna Magnani

Favorite Movie:

___The Godfather ___The Godfather Part II

___The Godfather Part III___Goodfellas ___Sopranos

# of Religious Statutes at Grandparents House:

___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Relatives Named "Sal"

___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Favorite International Destination:

___Belmar

___Seaside Heights

___Point Pleasant

___Bayonne

___Great Adventure

___Secaucus

___Wildwood

___Atlantic City

Favorite Driving Technique

___Tailgating

___Attacking stop signs

___Doing 106 mph on the right shoulder of the parkway

___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (non-related)

___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (own grandparents)

Now pass this on to all your "True" Jersey friends!!

[Guest]

[piaqt]

Two guys from jersey are out hunting, when all of a sudden, one of them trips, falls, and hits his head.

The fallen man's friend dials 911 on his cell. He tells the operator, "My friend fell and i think he's dead. what do I do?"

The operator says, "First, make sure he's really dead."

(Offstage sound of gunshot) The hunter returns to the phone. "OK, now what?"

[Drewdatrip]

HAHAHA...good one pia!

=Drew

[piaqt]

Let's be fair. Jersey grows the best tomatoes.

[Guest]

Pia: nice one... "Gunshot"