[hbinded]

A woman gets on a city bus. She looks at the driver and holds up one
hand; the driver holds up two hands.

Next, the woman points up; the driver points down. Then, the woman
grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.

Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.

A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were all
about.

The driver explained, "The woman is a deaf-mute.
She asked me if a bus ride is five bob, and I told her it was ten bob.
Next, she asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was
going downtown. Then, she asked if the bus was going past the dairy, and
I told her it was going past the ballpark..."

The passenger interjected, "Okay, but why did she grab her butt as she
left the bus?"

The driver continued, "She replied, 'Oh s***, I'm on the wrong bus!'"

[Lazy8]

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver. The little kid starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continued with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''

The kid went on with several animals until the bus driver got angry and yelled at the kid, ''What if your dad was a pimp and your mom a prostitute?!''

The kid smiled and said, ''I could still be a bus driver!''