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Who is better at catching criminals?


Lazy8

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The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They collect satellite photos and wiretap the ranger's phone line. They rendition a fox and badger to a neighboring forest for the tough questions. After three months of investigations, leaks to the press and excessive public scrutiny force them to conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. Along the way, they find a suspicious looking warren of mongoose (mongeese?), which they burn to the ground--no apologies...the rabbits had it coming. They soon designate a local hare as a "mammal of interest", who is periodically harassed by agents and lambasted in the press. The prez eventually intervenes, saying they had the wrong suspect all along.

The LAPD goes in. Two hours later they emerge with a badly mauled bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!

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