[Lazy8]

Hardly ever does a joke appear that is new to everyone. Some humor, though, has been around the block so many times as to have worn ruts in our collective psyche. When you recognize a joke before its first line is uttered and it has become worn-out cliche, perhaps the only way to freshen it up is to break it entirely. Lead the listener right up to the expected punch line, then hit 'em with a straight line instead--this only works when the audience knows the original joke. See if any of these examples work:


This guy walks into a bar with a chicken and an alligator.
The guy says to the bartender "I'll have a Scotch and soda." The alligator says "I'll have a Martini."
"That's amazing," says the bartender, "that alligator can talk!"
"Actually," says the guy, "I'm a ventriloquist."

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A man and a dog walk into a bar. The man says to the bartender:
"Will you give me a free drink if I prove to you that my dog can talk?"
"That's ridiculous," says the bartender. "I'll give you two free drinks if your mutt can talk."
"OK Fido," says the man, "What's on top of the house?" The dog replies instantly, "Roof!"
"Great," says the man, "Now, who's the greatest baseball player?" "Ruth!" says the dog.
"Now what's the texture of sandpaper?" The dog says, "Ruff!"
The bartender loses patience, and throws the two out on the street. As the man dusts
himself off, the dog looks up at him and says, "Arf!"

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Q: How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One.

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A policeman finds this guy on his hands and knees under a streetlight, fumbling around on the ground.

"What's the matter?" says the policeman.

"I tripped and dropped my car keys as I was crossing the other side of the street," says the guy.

"Why are you searching over here, then?" asks the policeman.

The man says, "They were flung in this direction."

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Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?

A: Use a high-powered rifle.

[EchoNoise]

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Use a high-powered rifle.


LMFAOROFL

Thats pretty farkin hilarious

[ootsoo]

these took my neck off me..........
even my a**

[EchoNoise]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he bloody well wanted to, thats why!


A guy walked into a bar with a briefcase. He sat down, placed the briefcase on the table and asked for a pint. The bartender curiously looked at the briefcase, and asked what was in it. "What's in the briefcase?", the guy replied "Nothing much". The bartender pushed him a bit further, the guy then replied "Fine!", he then opened his briefcase, and to his amazement he found something so big, something mysterious.......

The guy was obviously a Tax Consultant...

HAHAHA... erm *runs away*